Sweat and Tears
by BalthierFan6828
Summary: Balthier becomes confused about his feelings toward Vaan.  Balthier/Vaan pairing. Rated M for a good reason.
1. The Desert

**This is my second fic for this site, once again a Balthier/Vaan pairing. Rated M for a good reason. Don't blame me you were warned! I don't own em', I just write about em'. Please review, it's only polite!**

**Sweat and Tears**

**Chapter one: The Desert**

They had been trudging through the hot sand for so long that that Balthier's thoughts began to wonder. The group didn't talk much while they were on the move, focusing on fighting off any fiends that came too close, and everyone was too tired and hot to really want to talk anyway. Everyone except the boy. The pirate watched the blonde run ahead of the others, seeming unfazed by the heat. Of course he had grown up here; still Balthier could not imagine having so much energy. He didn't like the boy very much, he was too eager and innocent, and he always seemed to get himself (and the others) into trouble. Not to mention the fact that he _never_ shut up. It annoyed him that he always seemed to be thinking about the boy, but it was just because he annoyed the pirate so…that's all.

At least that's what he thought right up until the moment he saw Vaan fall to the blow of a worgen. Something in his stomach clenched tightly at seeing the boy's limp figure hitting the sand. Confused by both Vaan's fall and his own emotions he made no move to raise the boy, but instead only stood there stock still, staring at the boy while the others fought on behind him. It was Basch who finally, with an aggravated look in the pirate's direction, slung a raise spell in the boy's direction. Balthier showed no emotion in his face, only in his eyes, and no one but Fran noticed it. Out of instinct he blocked a blow by one of the worgens, and rejoined the battle. He didn't dare look back in the boy's direction.

By the time they finally returned to the Strahl, the pirate was in a strange mood. He went straight to the shower, eager to wash away the day's sand, dust, and sweat. As he stood under the spray of hot water he tried to block the image of Vaan being KO'd from his mind. Again there was that strange, unwelcome feeling in the pit of his stomach. He braced his hands against the wall in front of him and closed his eyes. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ He thought to himself. The image of Vaan's blonde hair hitting the sand, specks of blood and sand all through it rose in his mind again, and before he realized what he was doing his fist slammed into the tile four times. He turned off the water, now needing to go and cure his broken hand and wrist; he didn't stop to clean off the bloody broken tile. He wrapped a towel around his waist and walked down the hall, not noticing the trail of blood droplets that marked a path to his room.

There were two showers aboard the ship, one for the girls and the other one shared by Balthier, Basch, and Vaan. They had developed a routine of shower use, which let the pirate claim the first shower as his, since it was after all; his ship and he did care more about being clean than the others did. Basch was next, since Vaan could have cared less whether he even got a shower or not. The pirate usually informed Basch when he had finished, but when after forty-five minutes he had not showed up in the main room the captain went to see for himself what in hell was taking the man so long to shower. He was a little annoyed to see that Balthier had left the shower, but had not bothered to inform him that he was finished. The captain was nearly finished with his shower when he noticed the broken wall tile, a little blood still clinging to it. It struck him as strange, and he assumed that it must have been Balthier who had broken it since he had been the last one in there, and the boy wouldn't have dared to even move anything aboard the ship he respected so much. The captain did not let his mind linger on the tile, he tried not to involve himself in his comrade's personal business, but the pirate had been acting different that day.

After curing his hand as much as his weak healing skills would allow him, Balthier pulled on his leather pants, he was pulling on a new crisp white shirt when he heard a knock on his door. Assuming it was his partner he opened the door without bothering to button the shirt. He was surprised to find that it was not the viera who now stood before him, but Vaan. "Um…Balthier…I was wondering…if…well…if," stammered the boy, looking at his feet. Balthier crossed his arms and waited for the boy to spit out whatever it was he was trying so desperately to say. "Are you…ok?" This question shocked the pirate a little, "Why in all Ivalice would I not be ok?" he snorted at the boy, taking his irritation out on him. "I don't know," the boy snapped back with more than a little sarcasm, "maybe because there's a trail of blood leading to your room?" The pirate looked down to see that there was in fact a trail of bloody drops coming in from the hall and up to the side of his bed. Unknowingly, he had moved over while examining the trail, granting Vaan unhindered sight of the blood covered towel lying in the floor by the pirate's bed. "Jesus, Balthier!" exclaimed the boy as he pushed past the pirate and picked up the towel, "What the hell happened?" Balthier did not answer him, but took the towel from him and threw it into the hamper, "Get out," he demanded softly but seriously. The look of concern in the boy's eyes did not escape him, and only made the strange feeling in his stomach return. After slamming the door in the boy's face, he collapsed on his bed, trying to ignore the emotions raging in his skull.

"You'd best see about Balthier," an angry Vaan told Fran as he walked past her on his way to his room, "he's bleeding." The viera nodded, wondering at the boy's angry tone, and headed off the master bedroom of the Strahl. She knocked, but did not wait for a reply before entering the pirate's room. "Are you injured?" she asked, knowing the answer by the trail of blood spotted earlier by Vaan. "It's nothing," he said closing his eyes, for it to be nothing it hurt an awful lot. "May I see it?" questioned the viera. Balthier reluctantly held out his arm for her to examine, he knew she wouldn't leave him alone until he let her look at it. "I did not notice this injury on the way back from the desert," said the viera, and the pirate knew it was leading to a question, "You were injured once we returned to the ship?" _Ah, there it is_ he thought. "I punched a wall," he told her, his trademark smirk crossing his lips. Fran cast a few healing spells, more complex than the simple cure that the pirate had cast on himself. He winced as the bones in his hand and wrist knit back together and the broken skin across his knuckles healed. "It's the boy who has you in this state, is it not?" she asked. This annoyed him greatly, "Why in _hell_ would you think that, Fran?" "I know you well, Balthier. I saw you in the desert when the boy fell. Apparently I have discovered your feeling toward him before you have." She was staring at him patiently. His mouth hung open in surprise, too shocked by her response to even yell at her. Was she implying that the leading man was gay? "I do not have any feelings toward that brat whatsoever," he explained angrily as he rose from the bed and stood with his back to her, "It doesn't matter to me if he dies or not." "You may tell yourself that, Balthier," she replied as she walked back over to open the door, "but you know that nothing is farther from the truth." When the pirate turned around she was gone. He ignored the feeling in his stomach and finished dressing, being in the pilot's chair of his ship would make him feel better.

But damnit all to hell if the boy wasn't in the cockpit when he arrived, his legs slung over the side of the co-pilot's chair. An aggravated sigh escaped his lips, but he said nothing as he slid into his seat and began to take the Strahl off autopilot. He almost yelled at Vaan and told him to leave, but that clenching feeling returned to his stomach when he thought of him leaving. He tried to concentrate on flying, but knew that the boy was watching him. When he finally cast a glance in the teen's direction the boy quickly looked away, telling the pirate that he had been staring at him, hoping that the pirate wouldn't notice, for some time. When Vaan looked back at him he saw that the older man was still staring at him, and their eyes met. Unspoken words hung between them, and the feeling in the pirate's stomach was raging at full force. Balthier swallowed a lump that had risen in his throat as he realized that Vaan's gaze had dropped to his lips. With one quick fluid motion he was grabbing the boy, pulling him into his lap and kissing him. They clawed at each other as if their lives depended on it, desperate to get closer to one another. Finally the pirate had to come up for air, "Go to my room, _NOW!"_ he told the boy, who without saying anything disappeared from the cockpit. Balthier waited a moment, his thoughts and emotions raging. _What in hell am I doing?_ He thought. _I just kissed Vaan…gods! Why did I do that?_ But he knew he was about to do more…Fran had been right.

When he entered his room Vaan's back was to him, he spun the boy around and kissed him, wanting to devour the boy whole. "Bal…Balthier…" stammered the boy, causing the pirate to stop kissing the boy's neck and look up at him. Neither said anything for a moment, they just stood there panting for breath and looking each other in the eyes. Still staring at the blonde silently, Balthier removed his vest and began unbuttoning his shirt. He never got a chance to finish the task because Vaan lunged forward and ripped the shirt open, sending buttons flying in all directions. Balthier picked the boy up, Vaan's legs wrapping themselves around his waist. He slammed the boy's back into the wall and held him there, forcing his tongue into the other's mouth. When Vaan moaned the pirate's name it proved too much for him and he flung the boy onto the bed. He positioned himself over the boy, and any remaining clothes were soon on the floor. He gave Vaan a questioning look, silently asking him if he was sure, and no sooner had the boy nodded his consent did Balthier thrust himself into the boy with all the force he had. A cry of pain erupted from the blonde's lips that soon turned to the sound of pleasure. They were both so worked up that it didn't last long, and as he hit his moment of release Vaan screamed out the other man's name and the pirate's arm shot out to silence him, knocking a lamp to the floor with a crash. At the sound of the crash Basch, (whose room was right next to Balthier's) ran into the room, not expecting the scene before him, but Balthier couldn't stop as his climax came. He collapsed onto the boy and turned to face the shocked captain. "Is there a reason you're still here, Captain?" he asked, not able to suppress a grin. Basch said nothing as he closed the door.

"Did that just happen?" asked the dazed boy under him as Balthier rolled over onto his side. "I'm afraid so," said the pirate suddenly becoming serious. "What happens now?" questioned the boy, his nervousness obvious in his voice. "I don't know, Vaan," he said, wrapping a protective arm around the boy and pulling him close to him for another kiss. They laid there staring at each other, both wondering the same thing, _I wonder if he loves me like I love him,_ but neither had the courage to ask.


	2. The Giza Plains: The Rains

**Please excuse if places are in the exact same order as in the game, or if people seem a little out of character. Hope you enjoy chapter 2. Review please!**

**Chapter 2**

**The Giza Plains-The Rains**

Balthier awoke sometime in the middle of the night. The desert boy was still sleeping peacefully beside him. He had gotten himself in a mess now, that much was certain. He tried to think of a way to blow the whole thing off as if it had never happened, but every time he looked down at the boy he found himself stroking the other's hair and smiling to himself stupidly. Finally, he resolved that he would never get any thinking done if he stayed there in bed with Vaan. He got up and dressed, if only halfway, before making his way to the cockpit. The sky had always helped him think anyway. Fran was already there, as she needed less sleep than the pirate needed. "You seem worried about something," she said without taking her eyes off the Strahl's controls, and Balthier knew that she had probably been able to hear him leave his room. He ran a jeweled hand through his brown hair as he sat down in the pilot's chair. "I may have made a terrible mistake," he said, not bothering to look in the viera's direction. "With the boy you mean," it was more of a statement than a question. He nodded, his eyes searching the Strahl's controls for an imaginary button to appear uninterested in the conversation. "You have not accepted your feeling for him," He looked at her, annoyed, "I have no feelings for him, Fran…stop saying that." "If you had no feeling for him," she said finally looking in his direction, "then you would not be upset about having bed him." The pirate's anger stirred, "Do you know everything I do before I tell you?" he snorted. "No," she replied, "But next time you should lock the door for Basch's sake. He was not happy to have seen what he saw." Balthier cursed under his breath, he'd forgotten all about Basch's interruption. "Go back to sleep, Balthier," she said patting his shoulder, "We arrive at the Giza Plains in four hours." The pirate nodded and rose to leave. "And Balthier," said the viera after him, "Do not be cruel to the boy…you are the first to have taken him." Balthier turned, staring at her in horror and cursed under his breath, why in hell hadn't Vaan told him he was a virgin? Now he really did not know what to say to the boy when he woke up.

It wasn't so much the awkwardness of having slept with him, but the fact that the pirate did not know what he felt for the boy that made it a horrible situation. He hadn't even accepted the fact that he had wanted Vaan sexually before it had happened. And now to find out that he had been the boy's first! Had he known he would have been a little more gentle, talked the boy through it a little. The way the boy had come at him he just assumed he had experience. He was back at his room long before he wanted to be. He didn't want to hurt Vaan, but he didn't know if he wanted something permanent either. But he didn't even know what the boy was after either, and he needed to know before he made an ass out of himself. As the leading man, he had to be sure Vaan really wanted him before he said anything. And so he decided to sneak into the boy's room, and see if he could find anything that told him of the boy's intentions. It was easier than he would have thought it would be, for there on the boy's desk was a journal. It was nearly full, so the shirtless brunette sat on the boy's bed and thumbed through the book until he found what he was looking for…

_Journal,_

_Today I met a real sky pirate! I still can't believe it! His name is Balthier, and one day I'm going to be just like him. Penelo says I should keep my head in the here and now, and stop dreaming about the sky…shows how much she knows…_

Balthier smiled to himself and continued to thumb through the entries, glad to know that Vaan had been impressed when they first met. He finally found the entry that told him want he wanted to know, and reading it made his stomach clench.

_Journal, _

_We were at the Sandsea earlier, and everyone was having a good time, especially Balthier…flirting his heart out with the waitress. I know he's probably still with her, and it's ripping my heart out. How do you tell a charming, dashing, handsome, utterly amazing sky pirate that you are in love with him? Of course he'd laugh at me; he barely tolerates me as it is. He's all I want in the world; just to be in his arms would be worth dying for…_

The pirate couldn't read anymore. What had he done to this kid, who had apparently been in love with him for over two months according to the date in the journal. How could he have so selfishly taken the boy's virginity? But he hadn't known then what he knew now. He didn't know what exactly it was that he was feeling at that moment. After putting the journal back he went back to his room. The blonde was still fast asleep in his bed. The pirate was tired, and planned to just lie next to the boy and sleep, but once beside him again he couldn't help but to nestle him in his arms. When he woke up Vaan was staring at him. The boy didn't smile and neither of them knew what to say. "Can I kiss you?" he finally asked, and Balthier didn't have the strength to tell him no, and so he just nodded silently. When Vaan kissed him he forgot all about the reasons he wanted to be apart from the boy.

The rain was pouring incessantly. Their clothes had been soaked through hours ago, and Balthier's hair was hanging down into his eyes. He risked a glance at Vaan, who looked quiet pitiful soaked and muddy as he was. He had tried to ignore the boy, but every time he looked over at him he had a hard time looking away. He had been KO'd twice, and still the boy had not made any move to show he cared. This aggravated him a lot, not only the fact that Vaan wasn't reacting the way he wanted him too, but the fact that he himself wanted this reaction made him angry. He was so busy watching Vaan that he was the last to see the elemental. He was watching it float on by them when he felt a severe pain flood his body. He looked down and saw a spiky horn protruding from his chest. He must have made a sound because the others turned in his direction. It seemed like he could hear shouting, but he wasn't really sure anymore. His vision blurred, and then there was nothing.

Vaan had been angry at Balthier all day, the older man had made no attempt to talk about what had happened between the two of them, and he mostly had ignored him since they woke up. They were all standing there silently in the rain, attempting to make sure the elemental passed them by, when Vaan heard a strange cry erupt from the pirate's throat. He turned around just in time to see a Sleipnir pull one of the horns on its head from Balthier's chest. The brunette's eyes rolled back in his head as he fell to the flooded ground. Basch was on the beast in an instant, and Ashe, Fran, and Penelo followed suite. Vaan; however, ran to the aid of the pirate, who was lying too still and breathing too shallowly. He looked down at the pirate's chest, Balthier would have been angry to see both his shirt and vest ruined with blood. He had been trying to remain calm, but his feelings for the other man were forcing tears into his eyes. He looked up quickly, scanning for the elemental. Sure enough it was floating nearby. He couldn't heal Balthier. In any other circumstance they could have just waited for him to die and then used a phoenix down to bring him back, but they were fresh out of phoenix downs. The best they had to offer were a few potions, and for a wound this serious they would not do much good.

When the beast was dead they wrapped the pirate's wound as much as they could, but the rain made it difficult. Luckily they were within a few hours of the ship, and Basch was uninjured to the point that he could carry Balthier back, although he had to put him down and rest every so often. Once away from the elemental, they cast several cure spells, which kept the pirate from dying on the way back to the ship. They were almost back to the Strahl when Balthier regained consciousness. At first he tried to speak, but this only resulted in a thin stream of blood coming from his mouth. Basch laid the injured man down on the soaked ground and tried to keep him quiet. The more the pirate moved around and tried to speak the more blood he lost, but Basch was having a hard time keeping him still. Fran attempted to soothe him by gently rubbing the pirate's hair, but still he was not calm. "Balthier you have to keep still," warned Basch in a stern voice, "I'm going to pick you back up now, we have to get back to the Strahl."

The look on Balthier's face made Vaan uneasy, he stared at Basch wide-eyed, as if the pirate had never seen the man before, but at least he stopped squirming. Once back at the ship Fran and Basch made quick work of removing the pirate's ruined vest and shirt. The covered him with a warm blanket and placed him on his bed. It was Fran; blunt as she always was who finally spoke. "Our spells will not heal him," she said as if she were commenting on the weather, "We will have to wait for him to die and then cast a raise spell." A lump formed in Vaan's throat. He knew that it wasn't as big of a deal as it sounded, all of them could cast raise, so it wouldn't matter who was by the pirate's side when he actually died, but it was just the thought of it…Balthier was going to die.

Balthier could not quite make out what the others were saying. He was conscious enough to know that he was back aboard the Strahl, and that he was having a hard time breathing. Why hadn't they healed him? What had even happened to him? He tried to take a deep breath, but that was a mistake. His lungs made an eerie rattling sound and pain seared through his chest. Gods why hadn't they healed him? Someone was stroking his hair, he tried to open his eyes, but only half succeeded. Through half closed eyes he thought he could make out a red skirt. Ashe? No that couldn't be…he and the princess didn't exactly get along, he could have been dying and she wouldn't have been stroking his hair…maybe he was dying. He could hear a voice, but couldn't make out the words…was someone talking to him? He managed to open his eyes all the way, but the figures standing over him were blurry…that strange rasping sound…was that coming from him?

It felt wrong for them to leave the pirate's side, especially since he was somewhat conscious. Fran wished he would hurry up and die, so that he wouldn't have to go through all the pain that he must have been going through. Casting spells and giving him potions would just draw it out longer, so there was nothing to do but wait. Balthier's eyes were open, but he didn't seem to be aware of it when someone spoke to him, and judging by the rattling sound he made when he breathed Fran assumed that one of his lungs had been punctured. He was covered in a thin layer of sweat, and every now and then he twitched slightly. Vaan was trying not to look at him, it made him feel sick to his stomach when he saw Balthier looking like that. Finally, the pirate's breathing slowed…and then it stopped. Vaan couldn't stop the tears when he looked down at Balthier's lifeless brown eyes. It was Fran who cast the raise spell, and the pirate was restored to life, good as new. He was still too weak to move much, but he was out of danger for now.

When the others left the room Vaan stayed behind. He didn't know if he was still mad at the other man or not, but wasn't about to leave his side until he knew for a fact that he was going to be alright. He sat on the edge of Balthier's bed and thought quietly for a moment. When he looked back toward the pirate he saw Balthier's chocolate eyes staring at him. He raised a jeweled hand to stroke the boys cheek, neither of them spoke.

When Balthier first opened his eyes he had seen Vaan sitting on his bed with his back to him. His stomach made a familiar clenching feeling. He just stared at him a moment, without saying anything, before the boy finally turned around. One look at the boy's face and it hit him like a ton of bricks…he was in love with Vaan. As strange as it seemed him he knew it was true. He gently stroked the boy's cheek, and moved over inviting the boy to lie beside him. Vaan curled up next to the pirate, nestling his head into the crook of the other man's neck. He felt Balthier rest his own head against the blonde's, a sigh erupting from his throat as he did. "I love you, Vaan," he whispered. The thief tightened his grip on the pirate and smiled, "I love you too, Balthier." They fell asleep in each other's arms, and somewhere aboard the Strahl, a viera smiled to herself.

**The End. I know I know Sleipnirs don't come out during the rains, but cut me some slack…Review please. More stories to come but that's it for this one!**


	3. Giruvegan

**I know I said I was finished with this one, but I changed my mind yesterday when I was playing the game and kept getting lost in Giruvegan and Basch kept running off and starting fights with an Entite before I could stop him. Still don't own em', just write about em'.**

**Chapter 3: Giruvegan **

Balthier was awakened by Penelo's screams. At first he couldn't comprehend what he was hearing, but soon enough his mind began to comprehend screams coming from inside his ship. He bolted upright, grabbing Vaan as he did. The thief, still more than half asleep, sat up with him, rubbing his eyes. The inside of the room was dark, and neither of them could see very much. They were on the outskirts of Giruvegan…Balthier's worst nightmare. Vaan made a pitiful tired noise, and the pirate rubbed his back in response. Penelo screamed again. Balthier leapt from his bed and ran into the hall, nearly running into a shirtless and tired Basch as he did. Both of them were so confused and tired that they stood staring at each other a moment, unable to find exactly which direction the screams had come from. Another scream sounded throughout the Strahl. Running down the hall in the direction of the screams they ran into Ashe and Fran. Both women looked tired and confused, and Balthier had to choke back a chuckle at seeing the princess, not looking so regal with a very bad case of bed head. They reached the main room of the Strahl and both Basch and Balthier grabbed their weapons before heading into the kitchen, which seemed to be where the screams were coming from.

Upon entering, the pirate didn't know whether to be pissed or relieved. Penelo was standing on a chair, pointing to a rat in the corner of the kitchen. "Get it out!" yelled the terrified Penelo in their direction, "Hurry! Kill it!" Balthier sighed and laid his eight fluted pole down on the table, he walked over to the rat and used a dish towel to pick it up. Another shriek erupted from the girl's throat at seeing the pirate pick up the rodent, and he had to try hard to keep from smacking her senseless. He made his way past the others and out of the ship. He walked far enough away from the ship that he doubted the rat would turn around and reenter the ship. The air was cold and the pirate's skin soon became covered in goose bumps. He folded his arms and stood there a moment, admiring the view in spite of himself. He didn't want to be there, heading straight for his father. If it hadn't been for Vaan he would have considered abandoning the quest all together. Maybe he could convince Vaan to come with him; they could just run off and roam the skies forever. He would run the idea past him, but he doubted the boy would give it much thought. He seemed determined to aid Ashe in her crazy quest for the throne, and Balthier knew that he would not…could not…leave without Vaan. Someone called his name from the ship, and the pirate turned back…he doubted he would be able to get any more sleep tonight.

"How could you even ask me that, Balthier?" questioned a startled Vaan. "Forget it, Vaan," answered Balthier, "It was just a thought." The pirate ran a jeweled hand through his hair as he paced back and forth in front of his thief; he wished he had never brought the idea of him and Vaan leaving the others up to his lover. He should have known that the boy wouldn't want to go. Now he just looked like an idiot in front of the boy he loved, not so much the leading man image that he wished to portray. Vaan sat in their bed, his chin on his knees, watching the pirate he loved so dearly pace back and forth for a few minutes. He could tell that Balthier was upset about the fact that they were on their way to see his father, and he felt horrible for keeping him here. For forcing him forward through Giruvegan. "Thier…it's gonna be ok," he offered, making Balthier stop in his tracks and look at him. The pirate stared at Vaan a moment without moving; finally the blonde stood and pulled the older man into his arms. Balthier's heart was beating faster than he was comfortable with, and for the first time in years he felt tears building in his eyes. He was too strong to let them go, even in front of the only person in the world he loved. Vaan could tell from the way his lover's breath hitched in his chest that the pirate was on the verge of tears. He pulled himself away from the older man and forced the other to look at him. "You need to talk about this, Balthier," said the blonde, "Why are you so afraid to see him?" The pirate tensed at this and turned away from his lover, "I'm not afraid, Vaan," he muttered crossing his arms. "Really? Then why do you want to run away? Why are you fighting back tears right now?" asked Vaan, becoming a little angry at the fact that the brunette wouldn't be honest with him. Balthier didn't answer, but Vaan noticed that the pirate's hands had curled into tight fists. Vaan suddenly realized something, "He hurt you…didn't he?" he whispered to the pirate. Balthier didn't answer, but Vaan knew the truth when a tear slipped silently from Balthier's eye and before he could say anything the pirate had stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him.

How dare Vaan bring up something like that, although he knew that the boy was just trying to help he was furious. He was sitting in the pilot's seat of his ship, staring angrily at the controls when he felt a hand on his bare shoulder. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make you mad," he looked up to see a sincere expression on Vaan's face. He pulled the boy into his lap and held him. Vaan ran his fingers along one of the many scars on the pirate's chest, "These are from him…aren't they?" he asked quietly. Balthier squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, hating the tears that forced their way down his cheeks. Embarrassed, he tried as hard as he could to hold them back, but Vaan kissed his forehead and whispered, "Its ok," and the pirate could no longer hold his emotions back. He sobbed for the first time in ten years, grateful to have the arms of his thief around him.

They entered the maze that was Giruvegan. The pirate was too occupied with fighting off the hordes of gargoyles and such to think about what might lie ahead, but Vaan kept a careful eye on his lover, ready to intervene if Balthier seemed to get upset. Balthier; however, remained as calm and suave as ever…never letting his cool and cocky appearance down. Working through the gate controls seemed to be keeping everyone busy for the time, but it wasn't before long that they realized that they were completely lost. That was bad enough…then they saw the Entite. There was nothing they could do but run back in the direction they had come, and none of them knew how they would ever get out of there alive.

_To be continued…_

**Hope you all enjoyed it, more to come…please review!**


	4. Giruvegan: Continued

**Sorry this took so long. Still don't own em', just write about em'. Please Review and enjoy!**

**Chapter 4**

**Giruvegan: Continued**

Ashe was running as fast as her legs would carry her. She'd gotten turned around somewhere, and every time she found time to check the map she found that she had been going in circles. Once again she searched desperately for a phoenix down to raise one of the others, but found none. There were fiends around every corner she turned, and had Basch not gotten KO'd she would have kicked his ass. This was pretty much his fault. It had all been going fine, but the fighting had been tough going. Although Basch, Balthier, and Vaan had been ready battle wise for fiends this strong the others had not, and it had taken Ashe three or four hits to bring down the same fiend that had taken Balthier one hit. The men just had more battle experience, and even Fran had been lagging after a while. The maze itself was confusing enough without worrying about gate controls, and if you attempted to flee from an enemy without bringing it down it would only follow you…and then you had twice as many to worry about. The Entite had been an unwelcome surprise. They hadn't seen many of them in their journey so far, and they all knew well enough to run…and that's exactly what they did. For a while anyway, but the damn thing wouldn't give up for anything, which had been why Basch got the dumbass idea to fight it…alone. He hadn't said a word, and gods only knew how long the group had been running when Penelo pointed out that the captain was nowhere in sight….

_Balthier cursed under his breath, or would have if he could have caught his breath. Where the hell was Basch? "I'll go back," he offered to the others, "Stay here." Vaan had shaken his head at this, earning a stern look from the pirate. "Vaan," he warned, pointing a ringed finger at the boy, "STAY HERE…" Gods why would that boy never listen to him when it mattered? He turned to go back the way they had come, twirling his six fluted pole in the cocky, suave way that only the pirate himself could manage to do. He walked down the ramps cautiously, one…two…three…and there was Basch…fighting a fucking Entite. It was too late to worry about using magic, so Balthier slung a quick cure spell at the already mostly dead Basch, and then he did the dumbest thing he could think of…he ran ahead and joined the fight. _

_Vaan made it to the base of the ramp just in time to see Basch fall to the Entite. He stood there, rooted to the spot for a moment or two, a little scared and just a tad mesmerized watching his pirate fight so gracefully. Finally snapping out of his trance he raced to his lover's side. "VAAN GODDAMNIT!," yelled Balthier, taking another hit, "I told you to stay with the others!" "And let you have all the fun?" joked the boy, "Besides, you can't do this alone you know." "Tell that to Basch," said Balthier angrily, "If we get out of this alive I'm going to kill him." There was no time for Vaan to reply to this, as the Entite was relentless in its attack. The others joined them after a few minutes, and Penelo was the first to fall…then Balthier, and then Fran. And so it was only Vaan and the princess left fighting. "Ashe," Vaan gasped in the princess direction, "I'm going to distract it. I want you to run." "What?" she retorted, nearly dropping her sword in surprise, "Vaan I'm not leaving you to face this alone." "If we both die then there is no one to raise us," he reasoned, "go…NOW!" Ashe took one look at the boy's face…and ran._

And that is how she found herself all alone, lost in Giruvegan. She looked again at the map, and edged forward toward the end of the ramp. She let her foot fall, and a green bridge appeared under it. She was in the right place. Once fully on the bridge, and unfollowed by any fiends she began a raise spell. She brought back Fran first, then Penelo, Balthier, Vaan, and saved Basch for last.

They were all staring at him now, and Basch knew exactly what they were thinking. "I don't want to hear it," he said irritably, turning his back to them. He heard the pirate scoff to himself, but no one said anything. "We should rest here," Fran finally said breaking the awkward silence, "it is one of the few places we will not be bothered." Everyone nodded and began to plop down on the bridge, exhausted. Balthier however; walked a small ways from the group and stood with his back to them. "Brooding again I see," came a familiar voice behind him. He smiled to himself, loving that Vaan cared so much. "Just thinking a bit, thief," he smirked at the boy, "Nothing for you to worry about." He held his hand out to the boy and pulled him into his arms. Lifting his head so that their eyes met, he kissed him softly on the lips. Ignoring the curious stares the others were casting in their direction Vaan let him arms snake around the older man's neck. "Don't start something you can't finish, Vaan," teased the pirate seductively, "I am a pirate after all, and I will take you here and now...whether we are alone or not." He smiled at how red the boy's face turned and chuckled. "I'm only kidding Vaan," he said as he kissed the boy's forehead, "but don't expect to get much rest when we get back to the ship."

**And next time…the Paramina Rift. Hope you enjoyed ch 4. Review please! **


	5. Paramina Rift

**And welcome back…anyway…This is Chapter 5 of Sweat and Tears. It takes place in the Paramina Rift and I have no idea where it is going so bear with me. Also (again) I know this isn't really going with the time line of the game, and some things may be a tad different. Why would the gang go from Giruvegan to the Rift? I don't know I'm just making it up as I go along. Also if they found ways to heal themselves every time they got hurt it wouldn't be very interesting. Hope you enjoy…Rated M for possible adult content. Review please!**

**Chapter 5**

**The Paramina Rift**

For some damned reason they had decided to split up into pairs, and for reasons Balthier couldn't imagine Ashe had insisted that he be paired with Basch, sending Vaan with Penelo. Perhaps he was paranoid, but he was sure that Ashe didn't approve of what was going on between himself and the boy and had just wanted to separate the two. The look she'd given him when she _insisted_ that he go with Basch had been quite real though, he was sure of that. Maybe she had feelings for the boy herself? _No, that doesn't seem right_ he thought to himself, unconsciously furrowing his brow. Basch had kept his mouth shut for the most part of their trip thus far, and Balthier was grateful for that. He wasn't shy about the whole thing when it was just him and Vaan, but he wasn't in love with the idea that the others knew that the great sky pirate Balthier had a soft side, and that the boy could turn his heart to putty with one glance. He was still the leading man after all.

Basch was still quite shocked by what he'd seen that night aboard the Strahl. He had thought about saying something to the pirate, an apology maybe, but it was a subject he was not at all comfortable with. It wasn't that such relations were uncommon, and Basch was unsure why he seemed so…well…so unnerved every time he saw Balthier touching the boy. Perhaps it had been because of Reks; maybe he was just worried about the boy's safety. After all Balthier was a pirate and Vaan was just a boy. Still, it was something that was causing unrest in the group, the six of them had all just been starting to get used to one another and now everything was awkward again. It was snowing hard now, and the two of them were starting to move slower. "I can't see a damn thing," Balthier called out above the sound of the wind. Basch had been afraid of this, they were going to be forced to camp until the storm calmed down…they'd never be able to navigate through this. "We must take shelter, Balthier," he called back to the pirate, "We cannot travel in this weather." He knew the pirate was just as unhappy with this turn of events as he was, but there was no other option.

They managed to find a small outcropping of rock to pitch their tent under, and it took forever because of the heavy snow. Both men had very frozen and tired limbs before the job was finished. Once inside the safety of the tent, which did little to keep them warm, they sat awkwardly across from one another in silence. As much as a half hour passed in silence. Finally Basch spoke up, "I am sorry about my…intrusion…the other night." Balthier sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, attempting to fight off a headache, "It was my fault…" he offered, "I was careless." Basch was unsure what to say to this, so he opted to keep quiet. Balthier sighed again, "Everything just…happened…so fast." He said this more to himself than to Basch, and the captain suddenly felt bad for bringing up the subject. "It did seem rather…sudden," said the older man carefully, attempting not to offend the pirate. Balthier finally looked over at the other man, "I didn't even know how I felt about him until that moment, you know," he said with a smile that to Basch seemed sort of sad, "Actually until after the incident in Giza. It was all just sort of fucked up." "You don't seem very pleased about it," ventured the blonde, "Or perhaps I misjudge your feelings." "This kind of thing is new to me," answered Balthier, "I do not really know what I am doing. And Vaan is so young…I…I am afraid he may confuse admiration with love." Both men were more than uncomfortable now, neither of them being the type to talk about matters so private. "I'm sure you're rather bored by all this," continued the pirate, "I did not mean to ramble." "I do not mind listening," said Basch, who was honestly curious about it all at this point, "You may continue if you wish, it may be useful for you to discuss it." "Well," sighed Balthier, "There isn't much to tell really. I suppose it all started back in the desert, but really I'm not sure when it started. That night was a revelation for us both I guess, but even then I wasn't really sure what was going on…I…I suppose I'm still not sure." The pain behind his eyes was intensifying now, and he pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to stave off the pain. The air seemed colder now, and both men could hear the whipping sound of the wind outside. "You are in love with him?" asked Basch. "As far as I know," said Balthier as he ran a ringed hand through his hair, "It's the strongest feeling I've ever had for another person, male or female." Basch paused a moment before asking the question he'd been dying to ask since that night on the Strahl, "You…do not always prefer men then?" Balthier smiled to himself and chuckled, "No, Vaan is a first for me. It unnerves you…doesn't it? Our relationship I mean." Basch aimlessly fingered the strap on one of his boots, "In a way, I suppose. Though I am unsure why." He risked a glance at the pirate, who was watching him intently. "Have you ever..." the pirate questioned him with a raised eyebrow. Basch was unsure of the question for a moment, "Have I ever what?" Balthier smiled his trademark cocky smile, "Been with a man," he said bluntly. Basch choked a little at the other man's bluntness. He didn't know whether the brunette was serious or not, but the look on Balthier's face told him that he was. "No," the blonde finally answered, "I…haven't." The pirate smiled to himself, and couldn't help but wonder how different the lips of a man like Basch would feel from the soft lips of his thief. Basch knew the look that the pirate was giving him, and a fluttering feeling overtook his stomach. They were both silent, afraid to continue looking into each other's eyes, but they couldn't help it…and suddenly Basch knew exactly why the relationship between Balthier and the boy bothered him. It wasn't because he was worried about the boy…it was Balthier that he thought of. He inched closer to the other man, and he wasn't sure if Balthier would pull away from him or not…

**Will there be a chapter 6? Depends on you guys! Review please! Hope you enjoyed it!**


	6. Paramina Rift: Continued

**Here's chapter 6 of Sweat and Tears, which is a three part chapter including Paramina Rift: Part 2, Bhujerba, and Archades. Once again rated M for probable adult content. And, also, this timeline does not go with the game and things may be a little out of place so just ignore that. Review Please!**

**Chapter 6**

**Paramina Rift: Continued**

Balthier attempted to push back the feeling of guilt that welled up within him as Basch's lips touched his own. Although he was enjoying it immensely he felt bad about cheating on Vaan. Wait? Was he cheating? I mean it wasn't like he and Vaan had made a commitment or anything, he'd never promised the boy anything…or had he? He pulled away from the other man and ran a hand through his spiky hair. "The boy?" asked Basch, knowing in his heart that the pirate would never leave the teen for him. Balthier nodded, never looking the other in the eyes. The older man felt bad about what had happened, but he wasn't willing to give up just yet. "Balthier, he can't love you like I can. You said yourself he may be confusing admiration with love. He is only a child Balthier, this is a fling for him," said Basch. "Either way," started Balthier, but he was interrupted by the captain before he could go on, "You feel something between us too, I know you do." He was getting angry now. Balthier did not deny this, it was true in a way, and the pirate didn't know what he was feeling. "I'm a pirate for Shemhazai's sake!" yelled the brunette, now more than a little angry himself, "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! I don't know what I'm feeling! You just fucking come in here and kiss me and tell me you have feelings for me out of the goddamn blue? What the hell gives you the right to wait until I'm happy with someone else and then tell me this shit; all you're doing is confusing me!" Taken aback, Basch didn't answer. Another curse erupted from the pirate's throat before he grabbed his weapon and ventured out into the cold. Assuming he just needed to calm down and not wanting to make things worse, Basch did not go after him. They could talk later anyway. And so the blonde went to sleep.

The next morning when Basch awoke Balthier was gone. Cursing to himself he packed up, assuming that the other man had gone on ahead to join the others. It took him most of the day to reach the point where the group had agreed to meet, but upon approaching them he quickly realized that the pirate was not with them. "Balthier has not returned?" he asked hesitantly. He refused to look at the boy, who exclaimed, "No, isn't he supposed to be with you?" _Yes, thought Basch to himself angrily, he is supposed to be with ME, _but he didn't all he managed to say aloud was, "We had a difference of opinion and he went off on his own last night." "Maybe he's just moving a little slow," offered Penelo, casting an apologetic glance at the worried Vaan, "We should just wait for him here." So they waited. An hour passed, then two, three…and there was no sign of Balthier. "We can't wait any longer," said Ashe, earning herself a piercing look from both Vaan and Basch, "We have to get back to the ship; the weather will not permit our being out here much longer." Vaan half thought that his pirate would be at the Strahl when they got there, he half expected to see that spiky brown hair sticking up over the pilot's chair when he got there, but the ship was empty.

_The previous night:_ Balthier didn't know what he was feeling, but he had to get away from Basch before he did something he regretted. He just needed to clear his head, he didn't need to go far from the tent, and afraid that he would lose his bearings in the storm he only walked a short distance. He stood there in the snow, trying to think. His fingers were starting to get numb from the cold, and he figured he ought to start heading back. He turned around and got the biggest surprise of his life, "You!" he whispered in pure shock…and then everything went black.

Vaan was starting to get really nervous; Balthier should have been back by now. He, Basch, and Fran had even trekked back to where Basch had said he'd last seen the pirate, but there was no sign of him anywhere. So again they returned to the Strahl and waited, still Balthier never showed up. Basch was eaten up with guilt, not only because he'd been the reason for the pirate's disappearance, but because of how upset Vaan was about the whole thing. Part of him wanted to come clean with Vaan, but he knew the boy would hate him forever if he knew the truth. Finally, after three days, the group had no choice but to leave the snow covered Paramina Rift without Balthier.

When Balthier opened his eyes his head ached. He was lying on a cold stone floor, his vest gone and his shirt torn. He sat up slowly, his hand automatically reaching his temple and finding the knot that he knew from the pain would be there. "Ahhh, rise and shine," said a familiar voice and the pirate saw a familiar shadow emerge from the corner, and for the first time in a very long time Balthier was afraid, "Hello…father."

**Bhujerba**

Vaan refused to leave the Strahl and go to an inn with the others, and so Fran agreed to stay with him. The ship just didn't seem the same with Balthier, and Vaan was starting to let his imagination get away from him. At first he assumed his lover had just gotten lost or had taken a detour, and then after he'd been gone over a day he started to worry that he had gotten hurt or even killed. And then he had started thinking that maybe Balthier had left because he didn't love him anymore, but then why leave Fran and the Strahl? It was raining outside, and the boy sat idly in Balthier's chair in the cockpit, somehow it made him feel closer to him. "Balthier is quite capable of defending himself," came the thickly accented voice of Fran, who had entered the cockpit silently and was now sitting beside him, "You should not worry so." "What if he left because of me?" asked Vaan, not caring if the Viera answered him or not, "What if he isn't coming back?" "I have no doubt of his love for you Vaan," she answered, "and you should not either." The boy nodded and sighed, hoping the Viera was right.

Basch was attempting to drown his guilt in Madhu, and it wasn't working. He sat in a corner table sipping his fourth glass, his mind going over and over the different things that could have detained Balthier. He was becoming particularly annoyed with a pair of Imperials that were sitting at the table behind him, talking loudly and constantly laughing. He was about to just get up and move when he heard one of them say, "Idiot sky pirate never even knew what hit him I heard." "They'll break him yet, no one can withstand the torture of Dr. Cid. He'll tell them what they want to know." Basch froze._ Holy Shemhazai they had Balthier, and they were torturing him. _He tried to swallow the lump that had risen in his throat, this was all his fault. He rose from the table to go and find Ashe and Penelo…they had a rescue mission to go on.

_The Imperial guards could hear the sky pirate's screams from all the way down the hall. It made them uneasy, hearing scream after scream, but none of them were going to lift a finger to stop what was going on. Finally, Dr. Cid emerged from the room at the end of the hall and motioned for two of the guards. "Take him back to his cell," he instructed them, "See that he doesn't die, I'm not finished with him yet." Balthier could only whimper when they untied him, too hurt to scream anymore and too much of a man to cry. Blood seeped from his many wounds and it kept running into his eyes. His spiky hair was matted to his forehead with a mixture of sweat and blood. He managed to scream again when they lifted him, parts of the tattered skin on his back stuck to the metal table he'd been strapped to and even though the guards where not being rough Balthier almost blacked out from the pain. He couldn't tell how bad he was hurt, but he knew that he was in the worst pain he'd ever been in. Not knowing how much longer he could hold out without telling his father everything he knew about Ashe's plans he hoped he would either die or be rescued soon…only problem was that no one was looking for him. Surely Vaan would be, and Fran too. He thought of Vaan as the guards laid him back inside his cell, his beautiful desert love, and he knew that no matter what Basch said that he loved that boy more than he could ever love another human being. He felt the tears finally come, too hurt and light headed to care. Sweat and Tears mixed with the blood on his face, and the pirate resigned himself to the fact that he would never see his love again._

Vaan had taken the news better than Basch had expected. They were all aboard the Strahl now, flying as fast as they could toward Archades. "Maybe it isn't even Balthier they were talking about," Penelo told the boy gently, but they all knew that wasn't true. The captain did not tell the boy what had happened to make Balthier leave the tent that night, and Vaan did not ask. And Basch was grateful for that.

**Archades**

They had fought their way through dozens of guards, and Basch was beginning to feel hopeful about their victory. They fought and fought until they reached an empty hallway. _Where are all the guards? _Thought Basch, a nervous sweat beginning to break out all over his body. The party approached the door at the end of the hall slowly, afraid to see inside…but none of them were prepared for what lie within.

Balthier was strapped to a metal table in the middle of the room. His face and shirtless body was nearly unrecognizable from all of the blood. Blood was slowly dripping from the table onto the floor. The pirate's lifeless eyes starred up at them, and Basch could see a path where the pirate's tears had made their way through the blood on his face. Vaan was screaming, a sobbing Penelo attempting to hold him back. Fran and Ashe were silently devastated, unable to say anything. Basch himself choked back a sob and fell to one knee, the mutilated body of the man before him too much for his eyes at the moment. No spell or phoenix down was going to bring Balthier back…he was gone forever. The five of them stayed there in that room for a long time, unable to tear their eyes away. Vaan screamed and screamed, oblivious to those around him. He refused to let go of the pirate's bloody form, as if he felt that he wouldn't really be gone as long as he could hold him. None of them had any words to offer one another; hopeful words should have been flowing from each of them…words of comfort…but the only thing flowing from the five grief stricken comrades…was Sweat and Tears.

The End…

**Sweat and Tears is finished…please review.**


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